The End of My Fourteen Year Long Love Affair: An Open Letter to Billy Corgan

I think it's safe to say that my first true love was Billy Corgan. I vividly recall being 13 years old, laying in bed listening to the Pumpkins, clutching my walkman to my chest, and feeling Billy Corgan's pain. I fell asleep to his screechy, yet beautiful, voice every night for years. The first time I heard Tonight, Tonight on the radio, I cried real tears because millions of people would also hear it. I thought he was beautiful when everyone else thought he was ugly. Today, I want to punch him in the back of the head. How can someone turn something as beautiful as love into this?

I suppose I'm angry at Billy, since I stood by him through some really dark times. When he shaved his head, I loved him more. When he became a svengali with the rest of the Pumpkins, I thought "good, he's the only talented one in the band anyway". When the rest of the band couldn't stand him anymore and he formed Zwan (OGOD!), I wished him the best. When I found out he slept with Courtney Love, of all people, I thought "hey, we all make mistakes!". But now I'm done loving him. It's over, I'm breaking up with you Billy. Try not to be too sad... if it's meant to be, we'll come back together.

The Beginning of the End
Blinking with Fists, your "poetry" book. I drove like a madwoman to make it to your book signing at the Harvard bookstore. I thought long and hard about what to wear because I wanted you to think I was pretty. I left an awesome philosophy lecture. You left the book signing early and I missed you! Thanks.

This pales in comparison to the fact that you wrote a goddamn poetry book, a laJewel! For that, you fail. Furthermore, since you stood me up, I never bought your stupid book.

The Middle of the End
Zeitgeist, the Smashing Pumpkins "reunion" album. Fifty percent of a band does not a reunion make! It's metaphysically impossible, IMHO, to call it a reunion with half the parts of what you're trying to recreate (I apologize to my philosopher friends in advance if you disagree or if that was poorly worded... I'm writing this in sheer rage and mellon collie). 

Also, WTF is with the songs and the album art? All of a sudden, you're trying to be U2 (whom I hate) with a political message? NO! You're not about that. You're about pain and loneliness and disappointment! Not global warming, the economy, and the media (granted, I care deeply about these issues). And Paris Hilton is all over your album art? Again, NO! Even though I get what you're saying, I don't want to associate Paris with you!

The End
So, last time I checked you were fighting commercialism, the media, and global warming, right? So why are you all over this Coupe commercial? And let us not forget about the Visa commercial. Damn it. And today, I hear you want the radio stations that play and promote your music to pay you (and all other musicians, of course)royalties every time they play one of your songs? Do you want radio stations to go bankrupt? Do you want to bite the hand that feeds you? Or are you just out of money because Courtney Love used all of it to feed her drug addiction?

I loved you so much, but it's over. I'm running away with Timothy Olyphant... he truly understands me. 

Goodbye.

Ebru

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[Pretty and Dull]

Timothy Olyphant is what you want? I daresay you're the one who's changed...